Nikita's Very serious GamTav Fanfic

I did not write this, so don't give me credit for this hunk of beauty
Here is the author:
[link]


Gamzee slid the knife across the pale bread, spreading the peanut butter on it's rugged surface. He got the bread coated, and delicately put a secound peace of bread over it. He grinned to himself thinking "mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClEs."
In walked Tavros, who was wearing nothing but a french maid outfit. "gAMZEE! pLEASE HELP! eRIDAN'S MESSING WITH ME-" the long horned troll stared at the sandwich. He looked for a while before averting his vision to the one holding it. "gAMZEE. wHAT THE F*CK IS THIS?" he stared up at the clown with anger. "i WARNED YOU ABOUT PEANUT BUTTER, gAMZEE. i TOLD YOU, DOG!"
Gamzee slouched against the counter. "cOmE oN tAvBrO, iT's NoT tHaT bAd." Gamzee argued, but Tavros wasn't listening.
"iT LOOKS LIKE MY BLOOD, gAMZEE," Tavros wouldn't take this clown's excuses anymore. "iT'S LIKE ME EATING A JELLY SANDWICH. iT BOTHERS ME," He pulled some jelly out of the fridge and some bread out of the cabinets. He glared up at the clown as he reached for a knife. He took some jelly an spread it onto the bed. He placed another slice of bread on top and shoved the mess into his mouth.
He spent every moment with this sandwich, tasting the jelly. He was sure to make Gamzee watch. The tall troll looked down at him, but his thought on his demenstration were much different than Tavros thought they'd be. He lowered himself and found him at level with the troll. Tavros stared dafiantly at the clown, being sure to continue wrapping his tongue around the sandwich.
The two stared at each other, Gamzee being amused at Tavros's anger. Tavros then started to realize what Gamzee was thinking. "oH gOG, gAMZEE, YOU KNOW WHAT i MEANT," he stared up, getting embarrased, letting the sandwich fall to the ground.
"lEt's Go." Gamzee pulled a petrified Tavros closer.
"gAMZEE, LET ME GO,,,,,," whimpered a struggling Tavros.
"YoU bRoUgHt ThIs UpOn YoUrSeLf, mOtHeRfUcKeR."
At that moment Eridan strode in wearing a miniskirt and tanktop. Gamzee and Tavros stared at him, and he stared back. He wanted them to watch. Sollux walked in too. The two clenched their butts and started to do the thriller dance.
Karkat walked, ripped off his shirt and showed off an impeccible ab, but unfortunately, there was just one and he looked like an abomination of nature. Gamzee let go of Tavros in confusion.
In strut Equius, who was wearing a Nepeta skin-suit and dancing to the theme song of my little pony. He was dancing, but he booty danced to close to Eridan and Sollux and the three fell onto the ground in a Boku no Piku format. Karkat wanted to join, but he wasn't allowed to join their exclusive club.
Karkat cried so much his eyeballs flew out and hit Tavros in the cheek with such force that the small troll puked out Andrew Hussie, who birthed out Kanaya, who in turn, had sloppy makeouts with Vriska all over Gamzee, who in such disgust, puked on a table, BUT NO, THAT WAS NO TABLE, IT WAS ACTUALLY ARADIA, WHO WAS ACTUALLY WRITING A LOVE NOTE TO FEFERI, WHO WAS SITTING IN THE CORNER WITH TEREZI, BUT NO, THAT WAS NO CORNER, THAT WAS ACTUALLY JOHN'S BACK! DAVE BURST IN AND THEN LICKED THE LAMP, BUT NO, THAT WAS NO LAMP, IT WAS JADE'S BEAUTIFUL ELBOW! SHE WAS IN SUCH CONFUSION THAT SHE SLAPPED ROSE WHO FLEW ACROSS THE ROOM INTO DAVE'S BRO, WHO AT THE POINT, EXPLODED IN SUCH A FORMAT WHERE EVERYONE COULD SEE THAT HE WAS ACTUALLY A ROBOT SENT FROM THE FUTURE TO KILL EVERY TROLL, BUT GAMZEE SLAPS HIM SAYING "THAT'S MY THING!" BUT HE WAS JUST A PILE OF ROBOT PARTS ON THE FLOOR SO NOTHING HAPPENED.
THE END.